Monday, April 10, 2023

QUOTE ME, 2022

 

                               Rev. John T. Crestwell, Jr.

2022 Quotes

At the end of every year, I put together a summary of some of the words I shared during sermons.  These are short and long quotes that encapsulate what I feel on several topics.  Please enjoy and do quote me!

Becoming

“My blessing came by accepting that I was mortal and able to break like everyone else.  I had to learn to be present and to face my fears; to talk to them and see them as teachers toward my becoming a whole person.”

 

“To become I had to unbecome.  To become somebody, I had to be willing to be nobody (no-- body).  I had to let go of my ego of self and personhood to see that I was much more than just this brain, skin and bones.”

 

“I am me; I am you; I am every person.”

 

“I am nothing, everything and who I choose to be each day.”

 

“I can see myself in everyone—the good, bad and ugly.  It gives me pause.”

 

“There is a larger cosmic manifestation nudging me and you to grow our souls in unconditional love and we’ve only just begun this grand journey of universal consciousness.” 

 


Change

When you think of the fermentation process it is an alchemical process and that is YOU.  YOU ARE AN ALCHEMIST.  You are going through a process of change/transformation; many cycles of development that expand onward and outward forever.  Embrace the journey.”

Alchemy is a physical process like in cooking or masonry; and it is a human spiritual process.  The goal is to separate the materials and recombine them into something new—something stronger.  There are seven stages to alchemy (you can look that up) and one or more of the stages represent where you are in your psycho-social-spiritual development.”

“Many love drinking wine.  Most don’t think about the process of making that dark red or white so delicious.  We just drink it and may note the flavors without thinking of the process that created it. But there is a process that breaks things down and builds them back up. Things are added and taken away.  All the earth’s elements are used in the process.  You start with the grapes that must ferment—that’s the earth; and there’s water; some fire or heating involved.  Then there’s managing the air flow (that’s the wind).  Then there’s the waiting (patience in the process) and testing (got to see if it’s any good); and finally, there is a formula that works; a product that can be reproduced in bulk.   That’s you!  You are that process.  When you take an alchemical approach to living you realize that YOU are the very elements of the earth that must be refined until you become delicious.”  

“Even the best wine, if it sits too long turns to vinegar (it gets bitter).  A new process must begin to get back to the delicious!  As the great teacher said, ‘New wine must be put into new wineskins.’   The process begins again.”

“If you are on a spiritual path, then you already know that life is about separating and recombining the many pieces of you until you reach a deep sense of peace.”

I AM WHOLE.  THE THINGS THAT REVOLVE AROUND ME ARE ONLY ASPECTS OF MY WHOLENESS.  THEY GIVE PLEASURE AND PAIN.  THEY ARE THERE FOR MY GROWTH.   I ACCEPT THIS AS A PART OF MY HERO’S JOURNEY.  MAY IT BE SO!” 

 

Civility & Civilization

“For civility to be present the conditions (the situation) or group of people we are with must be in a cooperative state.  There is a word in science called entrainment that speaks to this.  Defined, entrainment is ‘the alignment of an organism's circadian rhythm to that of an external rhythm in its environment.’  There must be unity of purpose to create a rhythm which creates conditions for cooperation. Agreeing first about how we will be in relationship is the key link for successful relations.”

 

“Today, humans across the globe lack rhythm in their relationships. There’s disharmony in the home, at work, and among friends.  Why so pervasive?  We are stuck in old modalities and unwilling to change our ways.  We haven’t grown up as a species.  We are a young adolescent species. Some are spiritual kindergarteners.” 

 “In adolescence there are 2 stages—early and late adolescence.  It is a pivotal decade in a child’s development.  In early adolescence there is the preoccupation with the sexual organs; there is growth of the limbs and a kind of clumsiness. As late adolescence emerges, kids hit puberty—a confusing time.  ‘Who is this person in the mirror?’  There’s the formation of identity and personality during the decade.  Irritability and a range of emotions are present that seem unstable at times.  The vocal cords change (a new voice emerges).  This 10-year-old, over the course of the next decade, will grow into a young adult with opinions that are undeveloped; with beliefs that have not matured.  And there’s experimentation that takes place—some things are not very safe for the child.  Even still they are beautiful, like blossoming flowers, with so much promise. This is my analogy of our current American civilization.  We are underdeveloped in many ways, confused, unsure of our identity, irritable, inconsistent; we are finding our new collective voice.  And yet we are beautiful and have so much promise in many ways.”

“For roughly the last 6000 years we have been in a period of adolescence.  For 99% of our time on the planet we were hunter-gatherers.  We have been on this planet as homo sapiens for 300,000 years and 99% of that time we hunted in small groups (bands/families) being driven by comfort and discomfort; survival; eating for the day.  We could not store much food.  And, guess what? We were less violent due to space proximity with other human groups.”

 “The key lies in changing and correcting the narrative, in every aspect of our lives, for an alternative story that permeates religion, education, science, technology, and commerce.  It is a narrative that says ALL OF US and not SOME of us.”

 

“The new story is about safe connections, egalitarian cooperation, compassionate engagement, and bold collaborations.”

 “When we’re able to connect with each other’s humanity seeing that my needs are your needs; my children are your children; that we are more alike than unalike; that race and culture are important parts of who we are but not when they alienate and discriminate. That’s when we’ll have safe connections.”

 “When we can get on the same page (entrainment) and work as a unit with a common purpose, we will accomplish so much more because sustainable relationships are cooperative and in the best cases egalitarian.  Take the game of soccer.  One study found that the teams who passed the ball more won more.  ‘There is no I in team’.  We all can win. That’s egalitarian cooperation.”

 “Compassionate engagement is about empathy—understanding human pain and suffering. That is: to be human is to suffer and every person you meet is suffering in some way just for being alive on a harsh planet.  Each day when you remember that you are sharing this struggle with 8-billion souls that’s Compassionate engagement.

 “Bold collaborations are about working with individuals and groups who are willing to retell the story of humanity in their justice-making.  Boldly collaborating to create a new version of who and what we are—a narrative that is sustainable and healthy for our environment and planet—a version that is power-balanced—where the yin and yang are coequals.  It is a story that proclaims power WITH not power-over.  That is how we boldly collaborate!  Then we can move beyond a culture of destructive creation (the old story), toward a new one built on constructive creation.”

 


God

“Add an ‘o’ and you get GOOD.  God, the title, when I use it, represents all that is good in the world.”

 

“If we believe in unity and universality then we believe that differences enhance our lives; that diversity is good for us.  Racism blinds us from seeing God or GOOD in life.”


Truth

“It’s easy to spot the truth because truth embraces while distortion erases.  Truth is not fearful and touches the soul of who and what we are.  Truth is love.  Truth is oneness.  We are all one.  Notions of human separation are untruths.”



Unitarian Universalism (My Faith)

“I’m UU because I believe in our principles and sources.  My faith saved my life by giving me a purpose.  It nurtured me as a spiritual community without antiquated creeds and dogma.  It encourages me to say YES to life.  I have become a more resilient human being—a more humane being.  Unitarian Universalism gives me the space for abstractions, contradictions and my evolvement.  I can grow my soul for good.  I take what I learn and put it to work in my community.”

 UU Eighth Principle (Dismantling Racism and Oppression)

 

“Racism, antisemitism, oppression are ongoing problems in our country. White rage is a big problem too. Too many are feeling that black and brown progress in the world means they are losing.  That is not true.  There is a clear lack of empathy in America.”

“If we look at privilege like a dart board then at the very center is a very small circle where only a select few get the automatic benefits of the game—mostly they are white people—specifically white males.  They are straight in their sexual orientation; tall, protestant, blonde haired and blue-eyed, able-bodied, speak English and live in a first world country.  The same rules don’t apply to them like they do to others. They are mythologized as the archetype (the ideal) of what a doctor or pilot or businessman looks like.  They have superior DNA (which is a false construct).  If you are in this demographic, then God, Jesus and Santa look like you.  You occupy most of the power in the world over finance, politics, religion, science, and more.  Your world is considered civilized while the others, uncivilized.  Keep the dart board in mind.  This group can throw the dart with a blindfold and, like a magnet, it hits the center most of the time.  In darts, of course, there are inner and outer rings.  In darts the closer to the center the more points you score.  If you hit one of the outer rings you score less. This over-privileged group gets the most points just for being born a certain way.  Many get their position by their birthright; others get into this position by imitating or becoming what the center represents and allowed to enter the sacred fraternity.  This is their private unspoken version of affirmative action.”

“In my dart board analogy, if you are darker-skinned it’s harder for you to score.  If you are female, it’s harder; or GBLTQ, disabled, speak with a non-English accent, or live in a third world country, then you tend to hit one of the rings that don’t score as well because the game is rigged.  Some get close to the center through ingenuity, luck and by having some unduplicatable talent, but most can never hit the center in this game.  You often work twice as hard.  You ask for affirmative action and equity, and you are accused of taking advantage of the system; or that you’re asking for special privileges.  As an outsider, you have come to represent the social other, the dirty and untouchable in society. As a result, you suffer from traumatic stress and internalized oppression that many who are closer to the center do not care to understand when you are angry and frustrated and speak out for justice.  They say, ‘Stop being victims…You just need to work harder or get more education or apply yourself more.’  This is the system we live under today.  It is the most unfair game on the planet.  That is why the 8th Principle is important.”

 

UU First Principle (The Inherent Worth & Dignity of All)

 

“Inherent means intrinsic, fundamental or basic.  I would say you are born with this.  Worth means value.  You have this no matter your gender, race, or stage of life because you’re born valuable.  Dignity is about respect or esteem.  Put it together:  All are born with a fundamental value and deserve respect as human beings.”

 

“If we can’t see each other, we walk over each other.  If we don’t hear each other then there’s just noise and there can be no beautiful music—no harmony—just chaos. The first principle is the beginning of the human journey to spiritual wholeness.  It reminds us that all are made in the image of love.”

 

“I truly believe that some generation will receive a world that is not traumatized.”

 

“Hold on to those intrinsic values—goodness, mercy, honesty, forgiveness, and love.  They are there because they bring out our best and the best of those around us.  I/we can shape the reality that is around us.  We can call out lies with love.”

 

“Friends when you drive you use a seat belt to stay safe.  Today I’m asking you to put your ‘faith belt’ on and take a risk as a truth teller by lifting up the worth and dignity of all souls.  Keep holding those higher ideals.  Keep holding space and grace for others even with those whom you least like.  Why?  Because that’s what spiritual beings do. If you want grace, you must give grace.  That’s the reciprocal nature of the cosmos.  The First Principle reminds us that all are redeemable.  We hold space at the table for all of humanity.”

 

UU Fourth Principle (Free & Responsible Search for Truth)


“We live in a time when millions of voices are bombarding our minds.  Freedom of speech is alive and well.  What are the limits when speech and expression, or what is printed is vile, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or transphobic?  ‘Great freedom comes with great responsibility’. Searching, finding and sharing your truths comes with accountability. That is what we believe as UUs.”  

I’ve been reviewing the First Amendment.  It appears to protect all speech (secular or religious) unless it directly incites violence or calls for overthrowing the government. The First Amendment was written, in fact, to protect people from tyrannical governmental forces that may try to control speech, the printed word, or religious beliefs.  It gave citizens and organizations the ability to have separation and autonomy.   That’s beautiful, except when it’s not.” 

 

“Our constitution was created in light of the savage history in Europe and its many wars; its beheadings of heretics; its holy wars like the crusades.  Our Founding Fathers did not want to repeat that history.  It was wise to create this separation.”

 

“We want all to be free to search or express what is true for us, which adds meaning and purpose to our lives.  But some perspectives have been severely warped by unprocessed traumas, brainwashing, paranoia, and delusions which can lead to violence and loss of life. What the founders did not see, perhaps, was that toxic language if ingested too long leads to toxic realities.  Limits must be placed there.  We need moral filters for private and governmental organizations to keep a diverse society safe from the worst parts of itself. There is no such thing as freedom without responsibility unless we want autocracy or tyranny.”

“America has an awful history of how we treat minority populations.  Black folk, Native Americans, Asians, GBLTQ, women, Jews—all of these groups have had their search for truth and meaning stalled or stunted by individual, corporate and governmental forces.  That’s our history.  What does ‘A Free and Responsible search for truth and meaning’ mean if you are from an oppressed group?’”  

“You are free to share your truths publicly, but you are not free from the potential ridicule you will face.  It is a natural check and balance except when those being checked don’t have the ability to pause and reflect on their actions.  What we see recently is men who are very outspoken refusing to own their sins.  They gaslight and say, ‘It’s not my problem, it’s your problem.’  This lack of accountability means they need to be silenced by the media.  If we keep giving them attention, they will do more of the same and this will attract more of the same and we will continue in a cycle of purgatorial abuse.” 


“Universal law is real for me. ‘You reap what you sow.’  ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ Newton said.  There is a karmic force in this universe that adjusts injustices in due course.  How much hurt will be done until that time comes?  I’m praying for wisdom from the masses; for love and compassion to speak to us deep in our souls.”

“There are dirty forces at work that do not want you to freely search. They fear it may lead to a more racially diverse society where they are not the majority. The 4th Principle is a progressive idea that unites instead of divides—it embraces instead of erases.  These dirty forces have not been willing to face the reality that multiculturalism and diversity are good for humanity.  

They are losing their grip and clinging to outmoded ideas.  Their ‘cheese has moved’ and they don’t want to change.”

UU Sixth Principle (A World Community with Peace, Liberty & Justice for All)


“Many believe that progressive values are causing harm—traumatizing the children and hurting our country.  I don’t understand this.  How will a more comprehensive education make children and adults worse when it helps us to hold more of them accountable for our shared history?  The more we know real history the more we regulate those energies inside of us that are narcissistic.  Otherwise, we keep making the same mistakes over and over, continuing to leave the world bruised and bleeding.  If we want a world community, then we have to teach about the world—the whole world.”


“We have a clash of realities on what the American Dream is.  What do we do as progressive people? What do we do as spiritual people?  We must keep dreaming of the world we want and acting on that dream.  We must be imaginative cells, as Adrienne Maree Brown puts it, and keep creating spaces that are welcoming—full of love and acceptance, come what may.  We must keep promoting and living our vision of what a world community with peace, liberty and justice looks like and hope for the best.  That’s it.”

 

“The cosmos teaches a clear lesson of growth and diversity.  Look up.”

 

“I believe that the world we dream about is a world where we own up to our legacy of genocide in America. That is our first step—learning to be honest with ourselves.  We have an integrity issue in this country.  So, the first step is radical truth-telling.  We cannot create a world community with peace, liberty and justice for all if we cannot be honest with ourselves.”

 

“We are addicted to behaviors and beliefs that keep the world separate and unequal.  It’s an addiction to need to feel better or more superior than another person.  We ALL have differing degrees of this addiction.  And until ALL are willing to do this personal inventory, make amends and keep doing the inner work, we cannot create beloved community—which is the goal of the 6th UU Principle.”

 

“We are already at a tipping point toward a more compassionate consciousness on the planet.  We are moving toward a world that is more egalitarian and democratic.  It doesn’t feel that way but it’s happening!  The fundamentalists' light is dimming fast.  That is why you see such chaos on the planet today. The paradigm is shifting quickly.”

 

“I can’t just sit back and smell the roses day after day when I know that there are thorns and weeds invading. There is a natural pull from gravity—that natural law that moves us toward justice. It is that moral arc bending.  That is why Thomas Carlyle, then Martin King, Jr., could say ‘No lie lives forever’, because they knew the cosmos pushes us to grow our souls every day and I am thankful for this pull.”

“What is fair is not always equal.  We confuse equality and fairness all the time.  I did not treat my children the exact same (equal) way. I met each one of them where their particular need was.  Sometimes one kid might feel like the other child got more attention than they did (which may have been true at the time) but really this was me administering equity.  That is equity.  That is justice—using wisdom to know when someone 6 feet who can see over the fence and needs no box, but the other kid who is 3 feet will need 3 boxes to see over the fence equally.  There’s a great illustration of this out there on the internet.  Justice is equity, but many think the Roman goddess holding the scale that balances is equity.  That is a misinterpretation.  The scale balances because there is also equity placed on that scale which balances it to be equal.  You get that? It is the fairness in the adjustment that creates equality.”

 


Violence & Doing Less Harm

 

“Violence represents all that is undeveloped in us.” 

 

“Violence did not become the norm on our planet until we became agrarian.  Agriculture—

Farming, carving out square miles, began around 10,000+ years ago.  That’s when humans got competitive. Agriculture allowed us to stay where we were and grow our food.  Agriculture allowed humans to multiply in one location.  We became owners of space and time.  Our ancestors could cultivate their crops and grow their own sustenance.  They ate better and grew smarter.  No longer nomadic, they were more susceptible to theft and raids.  The bullies began

their reign of terror on humanity.”

 

“5000 BCE to 1,000 BCE is considered the most violent time in human history.  It doesn’t feel that way for anybody alive today.”

 

“Some anthropologists say that a large percentage of the skeletons that have been dug up during the period of 5000-1000 BCE had skull fractures. Violent murder was normal in that time.  Human to human violence isn’t a new vice. It is as old as humanity itself.  When I think of someone being shot by a gun that is awful; but to bludgeon someone with a rudimentary farming instrument or eventually an axe or sharp stone knife, that is brutality at its highest.” 

 

“The human pattern of connecting, collaborating and conquering is known as “destructive creation”.

 

“Controlling the wolves (bullies) among us is one of the biggest issues we’ve faced as humans yesterday and today.”

 

“Many love the winner.  However, winners can too often be overly aggressive and too sure of themselves, which is an obvious sign of narcissism.  They are alphas and we follow them like other creatures in the animal kingdom. The issue is that we can sometimes follow alphas who are toxic and dangerous.  We’ve seen how this over-confident narcissistic attitude can become infectious, taking hold of large groups that mean doing harm.  Harm is violence and violence are harm done to another person, or people.”

 

“Violence is most apparent when a person believes they have the right to control another’s free-will.  It applies to any group that has perpetrated any kind of ethnic-cleansing including American and European exceptionalism which has done great damage to black and brown people across the globe.   But it also includes actions by Africans who kill Africans, and Arab nations at war, and the never-ending Israeli and Palestinian conflict and more.  All of this has been mostly done at the hands of men.  I have to say that because it’s true.  It is a male problem more than a human problem.  Violence happens when we allow toxic alpha leaders to lead without accountability.” 

 

“We have to move beyond our old agrarian aggression and embrace the newer less violent age of technology and artificial intelligence with courage, hope and love.”

 

“Nonviolence has always been the way forward. It is practically effective and spiritually grounded.  Remember that the most successful movements in the world—the ones that have created dramatic social change—have been nonviolent movements.” 


“Friends keep promoting all the good things that evolve us; things that generate peace; things that ensure our systems are sustainable. Promote well-being, promote spiritual balance, promote our UU principles and sources, promote just laws—all of this historically is what has led to a more peaceful, fairer and less violent world.” 

 

Woke

 

“True awakening is when you know in your soul that you are connected to every living being; that people act out of their pain and trauma—and that you do too.  True awakening is when you lead with compassion because you are them.  True awakening is when you are honest about that flawed little person inside of you that is still acting out childhood traumas as an adult.”



Words & Sounds (liturgy & singing)

 

“In religion sometimes, the priest or minister will use what is known as an incantation.  To incant means that there is a recitation of words or sounds to call upon the visible and invisible forces.  This is done around fire, water or other elements.  We do a version of this every Sunday when we call upon the Spirit of Life or when we sing hymns that praise nature or our hopes for a better humanity.”

 

“It’s a kind of magic(k) really—an ancient practice by communal creatures.  It’s magical because it changes perspective.  We see things anew or differently.  And from time to time, we witness miracles that cannot be explained.  You see, when human beings make intentions with their words, individually or collectively, there is emotion involved.  And what is emotion if it isn’t energy in motion?” 

“Many movies make magic out to be otherworldly or demonic, but magic(k) is really conjuring up good thoughts, words and deeds. The opposite is true too.  But the goal, for those who seek to do good, is to harness the powers in nature using words and sounds.  It is one of the ways humans have healed themselves and their communities for millennia.”  

“Letters make words that are spoken and have sound and vibration.  All together they convey what is deep in the heart of the communicator.  I say all this to say that we must be intentional about our mindfulness and what we are conveying and saying.” 

 

“The chords, rhythms and vibrations from music move us in countless ways to do things in the name of love.  Our voices make music/sounds when we speak.  In some cultures, people speak and pray with a more singing tone and the listener is often enraptured by the recitation.”

 

“Dr. Masaru Emoto’s water experiments, using frozen water images, show us that the words and sounds that come from our mouths, be they toxic or healthy words, create distorted or beautiful geometric shapes. What we say and how we say it matters.”

 

 

END OF 2022 QUOTES

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