The Law of Surrender (JC)
Wednesday, August 20, 2014Sermon version here: http://uucamd.libsyn.com/the-law-of-surrender
“Be like water, making its way through cracks. Adjust to the object. If nothing stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.” –Bruce Lee
I grew up watching Saturday afternoon martial arts movies. I loved everything about them–the amazing acrobatic moves, the way the martial artists’ walked with their hands behind their back; the way the special effects sounded when they fought (pop!, boom, pow!) I loved the horrible English translation that was dubbed over the Chinese. The English never quite matched the actors words. Funny! I was excited to see the battles in ancient lands. I loved it all!
My friends and I would play outside and act out the scenes we’d watched. As the years passed, I desperately wanted to study martial arts. My mother said we couldn’t afford it so I convinced her to buy me books on different “styles”. “Dragon” “Crane” “Snake” “Wu Shu” (there are numerous “styles” of Kung Fu.)
Some years later I met and took lessons from a man who had studied Wing Chun which I found out was one of the first styles my idol Bruce Lee studied. Wing Chun means “beautiful lady”. It was founded by a woman and its simplicity and finesse movements have had a great influence on Chinese Kung Fu. Later when I could afford lessons, I studied the Japanese art of “Aikido” and its Korean counterpart “Hapkido” (both loosely mean “the way of energy”). I also studied boxing and self-defense techniques for a few years. Then there was a short spell when I studied Bruce Lee’s created system “Jeet Kune Do” which means “the way of the intercepting fist” As you can by now tell, Bruce Lee and martial arts have had an impact on my life!
In addition to introducing me to the martial arts, Bruce Lee had a great deal of influence on my religious beliefs. As I studied the man I began to see how the religion Taoism greatly influenced him. In fact, Lee, was a philosophy major in college with an emphasis on Taoism. Through Lee I learned that martial arts is spiritual first, mental second, and physical third. Everything the practitioner does has to do with avoiding conflict and tension. It’s all about surrender, harmony, being present, and having emotional content (control) which, when applied, equals self-discipline and self-control. Lee would say, “Don’t think, feel…. Don’t look at the finger or you will miss all of the heavenly glory”. These words out of the movie “Enter the Dragon” are now classic lines but the spirituality emanating from them is obvious.
As I stepped into the world of Taoism I learned and was fascinated by the concept of the Yin and Yang (soft and hard) two complimentary forces that control our world and when we surrender to this realization we find release from our burdens (more on that in a minute). Taoism is all about surrender and letting go of that which constrains; letting go of what is fake or artificial. Harmony in Taoism is found by respecting simplicity, by eliminating any superficial desires that keep you from your inner bliss. The term Wu Wei “woo-way” means “avoid the unnecessary, flow like water, keep it simple, and be effortless.” A Taoist engages in life, focusing on what comes natural and avoids unnecessary action or conflicts that will impede inner peace. She deals with life as it comes but chooses her battles wisely.
I am thankful to the East for its spiritual wisdom. I always say, “If you mix the democracy of the West with the spiritualism of the East—oh what a world this would be!”
(Back to Yin and Yan) This popular symbol of yin (soft) and yang (hard) means that the universe operates in a pattern of duality (cold/hot, dark/light, female/male, earth/sky, down/up, silence/sound) however within the opposites there is harmony and balance. Therefore yin and yang, as mentioned, are complimentary. You can’t have one without the other. In fact, when you look at the symbol of yin and yang it’s clear that within the dark part of the circle there is a small circle of light and within the light part of the sphere there is a small circle of darkness. There is a bit of each in the other. In Taoism, there is no force trying to defeat another as is the case in other religions. In fact, for the Taoist, this dynamic tension we feel daily is simply the way life is. We come to understand our greatest joy because of our lowest sorrow. We know that our heart has been broken into pieces because we have felt the unifying power of love.
I was studying martial arts from a private instructor years ago. After the Sifu (teacher) had trained me for several months he said, “John, it’s time for us to spar.” (this is a form of play fighting to test you on what you’ve learned). We went at it in front of his home in scorching Texas heat! I wanted to show him I’d mastered the moves. As we sparred for several minutes, I felt like I was in control of the situation when suddenly fatigue set in. Out of nowhere I was light-headed, tired, nauseous, and thirsty. My Sifu was standing their laughing at me and barely sweating in the 90-degree weather. He said, “John, you’re done and you lose.” How did I lose?
My Sifu said I lost because I overexerted myself. I did too much. I tried to control the situation and overworked myself. I was supposed to use his energy against him but I used my energy against myself. There is a lesson here… You can work with life or against it. Life tells us in subtle and not so subtle ways what to do; and it brings the same lessons over and over until mastered. And this is what Taoism and martial arts teach us—if you are rigid or if you overexert yourself, you are working against the natural flow of the cosmos. The good and bad that come is what life is (they are one). How you respond is really what matters. Wholeness comes every time you decide to look above the dichotomy; every time you roll with life and make her a dance partner. So today, Taoism and the martial arts teach us that we do not have to fight–the master never fights. He doesn’t have to prove himself. You don’t have to prove yourself. You have to accept yourself with your foibles and growing edges (that’s the hard part). And you have to learn to be the I AM that you are. We must surrender to the process that’s taking shape in the world and in our lives. Patience is still the ultimate virtue!
Many don’t like the word “surrender”. Defined surrender means “to give the control or use of (something) to someone else.” When you surrender it appears that you are giving away your power and authority. The idea of “letting go” and not holding on to things too tightly seems to be at odds with the American ideal of no pain no gain. But let’s look at this. I think they both go together…
On April 9th, 1865, General Robert Lee surrendered to General Ulysses Grant at the Appomattox Court House in Virginia signaling the end to the Civil War. The scene has become the stuff of legend with Lee coming in dressed in his finest uniform, proud, humbled but regal. Grant, likewise was in his finest uniform and greeted Lee with a deep respect and admiration. They knew what it was like to see men die, to hear the sounds of war and the cries of agony. The surrender of Lee that day was not dishonorable, on the contrary it was very honorable. Lee gave over control of his starved and exhausted troops to the Union—his one last chance to save face with himself and his men. Go read this encounter and you will see that surrender is not always a bad thing. In this case it meant that Lee could finally let go the war burden and move on with his life. You see, Lee was originally a Union man but his loyalties led him to lead the Confederacy when the split over states-rights occurred. Lee had to fight against men he’d gone to school with; men he knew. His friends had become, in one moment, his enemies and now in Appomattox he could let go and move on.
When we let go of the terrible thing that burdens us it frees us physically, mentally and spiritually. Do you see this?
Another perspective… Much has been written about the Civil War. Some have come to see the South as the loser of the war. Others say it was a war of attrition with the North winning because they had more resources and not necessarily stronger convictions. Northerners and Southerners will argue there points endlessly. However, when you step away and look at where we are now in America, you see that this war (like the American Revolutionary War) was necessary (even destined to occur) because it has helped our great country move toward a higher ideal of freedom, equality and reciprocity. Whether you were on the side of the North or South does not matter. This period was a tragic but great was a pruning process with pains and gains; but the thing above the “Us versus Them” is that the very definition of freedom extended and has grown—and is growing in America the world-over.
The point is that when we are in the midst of something, we can’t see what’s really going on. We’re too close to the action. The bombs are going off. It hurts. There are injuries; and it may be years before we fully and really understand the maturation process that is happening in all of us. When you are trapped in and by the dichotomy, as the cliché says, “you cannot see the forest for the trees.” You’re too close. But sweet life is telling us each and everyday that there is a better way. There were times when the Civil War or any war can be averted. That voice inside will say “there is a better way. That power inside—the God stuff in all of us (if we listen) reminds us that ALL things are temporary; that all of our suffering comes from our illusion of permanence; from holding on to people, places and things too tightly–bad relationships, bad employers, animosities, envies, rivalries, and the like.
My friends, the “Law of Surrender” says that to be whole and fully human we must absolutely remember that there is a time and place for everything; most importantly that there is a time to let go, move on, or start again. How do you know when it’s time? Let me give you a hint… When the alarm inside begins ringing (at first softly) it is telling you it’s time to let go, or move on, or recommit, or have that conversation with that someone… We hit SNOOZE… And because of the awesome grace that is in life—you can keep suffering and agonizing over your troubles a bit longer. Then the buzz will come again—a little louder. The more you snooze the LOUDER the voice gets and eventually, the thing you’re holding too tightly gets worse. OMG!!!! You realize you are not flowing like water instead you are drowning. You can try to hit the SNOOZE but the alarm keeps on sounding! You panic and get even more out of balance and things begin to snowball all around you… This can be avoided. The “still small voice” comes and we must heed its call to change perspective. Isn’t that what it’s all about changing the way we view everything? Stepping away from it, looking at it as if we are viewing our lives on the screen and saying, “She needs to get out of that” or “He needs to stop doing that.”
Lastly, I want to talk about “expectations”. It’s great to have expectations—they keep us alive and moving forward. It makes the world go round. But of course everything has a limit and sometimes we can over-expect. I’m not saying don’t work hard. I believe in a dedicated but balanced work-ethic. What we have to let go of are the outcomes. We can have goals and dreams and visions or delusions of grandeur. But in the end, life will do what life does. There are no guarantees in terms of getting all we expect out of life. So my advice to you is to surrender outcomes. Surrender to winning and/or losing. Say “it is what it is”. “Not my will by life’s will be done on earth as it is in the cosmos.” Say, “you know, things don’t appear to be great but I’m learning many lessons right now. I can’t control how the wheel of life manifests. I can’t control whether you will like me or if you will love me or if I or someone I love will be made better. But I can control how I adjust and readjust to the disappointments and setbacks and all the stuff that comes. I can Surrender to the fact that I don’t control the outcome of a situation but I can control my attitude and way of seeing the situation.” Remind yourself that the good and bad and stuff in between is a part of a grand process that is allowing us (if we let it) to become better fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, lovers, husbands wives, partners….. When you do this you will be doing, as Bruce Lee said well, “Adjusting to the object” presented You will be flowing like water and living in each present moment.
I had no idea that my fascination with martial arts movies would lead me toward understanding myself better. In my youth I was having fun mimicking what I saw. Now I know better. I know that EVERYTHING I experience is a part of a much larger experience. I know now that “I see through a dim mirror” but one day I will see some things more clearly. Yes, “I will understand it better by and by”. Life has taught me that. Life has taught you that too. So be patient, hold things lightly, know when it’s time to let go, and surrender the outcomes.
More words from Bruce Lee fit well here, as I close: “There is nothing more submissive than water, yet nothing, absolutely nothing on earth can surpass it. Be like water.”
